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riverside_episode_1_raw-synced-video-cfr_wait.._what__0001: Hi. Hi. So this is our first podcast, Issa. Yeah. And we have a new logo. Wait, what? It's a marquee. Like we are having a show, which we will be soon. We will be coming to a town near you soon, I promise. Okay. So today I really want Nicole to take the seat since I, um, have been here alone and she's been, um, in Napa.
So let's talk about Nicole and where you're from I'm from California. California, you're just like the Californians and Saturday Night Live. Yeah. I didn't know I had an accent until I moved here. Right. And then somebody said, yeah, you have an accent. And I was like, what do you mean?
No, this is how people talk. Right. And then like people say that to me too. Certain words people were, were like, um, what does that [00:01:00] mean? I was just thinking about this the other day in New Orleans, we called the movie theater, the show. Right. And then I saw this guy come on Instagram.
He's like, I went to New Orleans and they used different words for everything. I wanted a, I asked for a soda. And they were like, what? You want a soda? You mean a cold drink? It's called pop in like in San Francisco? No, um, it's called soda, like normal. Oh, okay. We don't, we call it soda in New Orleans.
Talk is like, like some northern states that's what I was thinking. So I moved to North Carolina kind of later in life. Um, my husband, at the time yeah, there's no other husband, but Yeah.
Yeah. So, well, my ex-husband, I keep thinking about myself because we divorced and we live close to each other, which has been convenient for the kids. Um, but I could never do that. It was hard for a while. It was hard for a while, but, [00:02:00] um, also convenient because they would, because of the, yeah, they would leave stuff, you know, at, at, at his house and then they could just go run and get it.
Okay. Let's talk about, I wanna talk about what your upbringing was like in San Francisco. Was it like wild? Oh, well, I, I just think it was normal because you don't know any better, but in comparison to our kids, right? So ref, as I'm older now, I reflect on like, kind of the Bay Area and, and I'm real, I've realized that it's a special place.
Yeah. So you have experiences growing up there that, um, you thought were just normal, just. Right. Me too. I, I just thought that like, you go to Bourbon Street at 12, like I thought that was normal. Like every town would have that, right? Yeah. And, but really truly, I do think back about New Orleans, but I romanticize it.
I, yeah, I, I would, that's how I want to see it. I've never [00:03:00] been, but like, just the imagery of Yeah. But it's really not like that. It's really like the wild, wild west right now. Yeah. And it's really like, um, terrorist. I don't know right now. No, it's not a good idea. Well, that's why I'm here, right? With children, right.
To raise my children. Yes. When you moved here and did you have a cul, like, I ha went into culture shock.
, Yeah, it's been like culture shock, but it's also been such a great opportunity. And I feel like in California, I was a teacher. Mm-hmm. And it really burned me out. A kindergarten teacher. Yeah. Like everybody that doesn't know that when they find out I was a kindergarten teacher, they're like, what?
They're like, how you, yeah. And I'm like, what? What is it? Like? Why, what is it about me? Yeah. I mean, I'm nice. Yeah. Kind of. [00:04:00] No, I can, you are totally nice, but like, you're so introverted. Yeah. So how would you talk to the class? I know you made me sing one time and I felt so uncomfortable. You were like, how, how would you sing in the morning?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, first it was, do you, did you sing to your students? And I'm like, oh my God, we're, we're gonna do this. And um, I'm like, well, yeah. And, and Chloe, your daughter was like what was it? I'm like, that's so Chloe the days of the week. And she's like, no, I need to hear it. I felt so seen in that moment.
Yes. As I was singing and I'm like, oh, yes. Anyway, I love the children and just seeing the, I like it keeps you feeling Yeah. Hopeful and young. Right. I didn't feel like that was my calling in a lot of ways. Oh yeah, totally. I was like the kindergarten teacher that showed up in like really cool like outfits or like nice outfits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I'd be on the ground with glitter. Yeah. So it didn't work. There was just a part of me that, so when I moved here and I got the opportunity to start [00:05:00] my store. Okay. So it really felt natural. We need to talk about the store. It felt like, um, oh, this is what I'm supposed to do. Tell us about your background in fashion. Tell us about your mom. Wasn't she a model? I, yeah, she did some catalogs, I think. Yeah. And what about you?
She is a model. She actually still models. Nicole does. Yeah. At at her age. I know. Weird. That's really weird. I do work for a charity models for charity. That's right. We do fashion shows. Yes. I love it though. I, I had been dressing the models for years. Yes. And then, um, Michelle and I became closer as friends, the, um, founder and she's like, yeah, like, do you wanna walk?
And I was just trying to network more. Yeah. But um, like talk to people. Right. Just get out there. Right. So. [00:06:00] So she's totally into fashion. Love it. And I love can tell you, that's how I met her was shopping at Judo. And I was like, this girl's so cool. I wanna be friends with her. And then it was really impossible because she doesn't look at you and talk to you.
I don't, I don't like to be seen. No. So I was like, dang. Because I felt like I met somebody that was from a big, like a cool city. Like I'm from like, you felt like you connected with me, but like, you're like, she seems maybe like a bitch. Yeah. No, I didn't think that. Some people, I think do. Yeah. But I didn't get that vibe from you.
I was just like, I felt, I feel she seems introverted and I feel hurt when people feel that way about me. Yeah. 'cause I'm like, I'm not No, you're the like sweetest, kindest. I just can't talk to most generous person. I just can't talk to everybody. Right. And like it's draining for me. Yeah. I get it. I talk to everybody for her.
Yeah. That's kind of why we worked in some ways. Right? Right. Mm-hmm. So I went to Nap Nicole's [00:07:00] store. I bought something, my husband was taking me out for Valentine's Day. What a let down that was. And um, sorry. Um, and then I kept, I was like, this store is awesome. And we just talked one day and I remember you were telling me about Sean, how he used to play baseball.
Mm-hmm. And we figured out that our kids are the same age and it's the best shopping in the triangle. Let me tell you why, because all we have here is like Ann Taylor and like Chicos. Yeah. You can't forget W White House Black Market. Oh, right, right, right. And or wait, is there one anymore? A loft? Oh yeah.
It's so sad. I. It hurts my heart. That's why. But even when you go out of Carrie and you go to Raleigh, that's why I love, and yeah, you can get cooler shit. Like, but it's not, it's still not good. I love like going like to California [00:08:00] and picking up, like seeing the fashion out there. And, and they'll have like amazing designers in Nordstrom.
Like Zimmerman, like, and we have Nordstrom Rack. Well, I mean we have, we have that in California too, but it's just the fact that you can go in and see like these amazing dresses that are like intricately made and like, just so like, and, and they're like $1,500. Yeah, we have a lot of that. Like, we're not buying that dress, but like, wow, I got to see that.
It's like a piece of art. Like I'm standing there in Nordstrom, like looking at the garment and like, like where did they put the zipper? Yeah. How did they construct this? Um, but I've always loved fashion and my, like growing up, my parents, my mom would like be like, you know, bribed me with um, clothes, clothes.
She'd be like, if you win the swimming race. 'cause I, I, I grew up swimming. Um, I'll, I'll get you that dress you want. And like I'm thinking like, why didn't I go into fashion? Yeah, it was there. But so anyway, her store is a [00:09:00] high-end consignment store. Um, it's got the best. So Nicole, there's the every piece of clothing to make sure it looks great.
It's fashionable. She knows all the designers, um, and her prices are amazing. And you get clothes that no one else here has very like Yeah, I love that. Me too. And New Orleans. That was a huge deal No one can have on the same dress for like brunch or all the things that we do. Um, and just being turned on to new stuff, like Yeah, like I have consignors that are like.
Super hip and like they'll bring stuff. Yeah. And I'm like, this is like, I like this. And then I'll look 'em up and be like, let me see, like their aesthetic, what they have. Yeah. Um, so like every day's like a Christmas 'cause it's like, what's coming in? Ooh,
so do you think you'll ever go back to San Francisco?
It's so expensive. Yeah. And like what, and like, what would you do there? So I could [00:10:00] have a, a store, my store like out there. And so when I go out, I visit like the consignment stores and get a vibe on like Sure. Um. Well, first of all, what are you pricing stuff, right? Like how outrageous is this? Right? And like the rent.
And I try to talk to the owners and get an idea of, um, like how much their overhead is yeah. And I don't really want that stress. So her store is judo. Um, just like Jor Dior and she's at 42 26 Northwest Kerry Parkway. It's so easy to find her. She's right next to a farm. Um, so you can go brunch? Yeah. You can make a plan to like brunch with your girls and then, or with your husband and make, can buy you stuff or whatever you want.
Yeah. And we get like fabulous jewelry in and high in bags. So it's always fun just to come in to look to see what what's in because yeah. And sometimes she gets so much inventory she has [00:11:00] to mark down things that are so valuable. You just said sometimes, like all the time, like people who see me in the store, I usually have a red marker in my hand.
So I have gotten my entire wardrobe that you're gonna ever see, including shoes, accessories is all from Ja Door. I have nothing else. I mean, unless it's my pajamas. I even have pajamas from, I think you used to have pajamas. Yeah. No. Yeah. Do you have 'em right now? No, but I got this, we need to bring those back.
Really cool brand. It was like cat's pajamas or something. And they were so soft. I went soft. I bought 'em all. I think that's a big thing. That's a big thing. I love it. It's just like, and like I'm like, oh, I love this brand. I would've never known about this. How'd you find it? Consigner just brought it in.
Oh. And I'm like, also these pajamas. Yeah. I'm gonna buy 'em all. Like, you know. Yeah. I need some, but it's because our lives have changed so much that we love to go home and immediately get in our pajamas. It feels nice. Yeah. [00:12:00] And I mean, I go to bed at eight 30. It's awesome. So anyway. Yeah. I mean, life's kind of different now.
Yeah. And Nicole and I are kind of like the odd couple. Yeah. In all in all way. Like height. She's tall. I'm short. Ridiculously short. And sometimes she hates going out with me. No I don't. Yeah, you do. No. When you have on like heels and like, you seem so much taller than me. No, you're not Like my date. Like, no, you're just my friend. Tell us a story about, can you tell us a story about the guy that was a little shorter and he kept telling you to sit down on the bar stool?
Yeah. And like, he's like, oh, like they all start out with, um, no, I'm totally good with it. Yeah. Like why, why would I have an issue? I love tall girls. She always looks at the height when she's doing the dating because they say they don't care. And then these little comments come out all the time and you're like, what's [00:13:00] happening?
Like, um, why am I always walking in the street and you're on the curb? Like, this is weird. Like, I should be on the inside. And then, um, like the comments like, do you always wear heels? Oh, that was so annoying. And I'm like, pretty much, yeah, like, get over it. Um, that's what I do. And then tell about the bar stool.
That's what I do. Um, yeah. Like, can you sit more? He was like, do you wanna sit down? And she was like, no, I'm fine. And then like five minutes later, he's like, why don't you sit down? Yeah. And she was like, why does he keep saying that? And then she was like, oh, he's gonna have a problem. It's weird. I, yeah, it's, and I, I've dated like, you know, guys shorter than me and they lie, they lie Joe lies.
They say like, oh, I'm five nine. And I'm like, oh. They always add like, you're my, you're my height. Yeah. And then I meet you and it's like five, five. Oh my God. I've had so many guys say to me, you're [00:14:00] not five nine. And I'm like, yeah. I used to model like, I, that's like something, you have to be that height.
I've been this height since I was 13. Right. Um, I know my height unless I'm shrinking, but, um, I'm not, no, I'm not taller. And I, and then I realize it's because they're my height or shorter and, and they're like, you can't be five nine. Because that makes me, you know, insecure, like a five seven mm. And I'm like getting out the, like measuring tape.
I'm like, look, I'm five nine. Like, and not understanding like, oh, they, they're really like, and I'm not wearing flats, dude. Their world is like crashing. Like, because their ego Oh, anyway, like maybe they don't, don't even get me started. No, but I did date one man who lied and said he was five nine. He was shorter.
He was five eight. And we had the discussion, which it's so weird. 'cause I'm like, why are, why are these men saying to me, you're not five nine, you have to be six foot two. Yeah. It's like, no. Um, I'm like, I'm having it again. Um, but [00:15:00] he actually was like five seven and he's like, no, I went to the doctor and I had them measure me and I'm shrinking.
I'm like, no, I am pretty sure you've always been that tall. You just lie. Right. That's fine. I actually love being short, except for in my house. 'cause nothing is made for short people and I can't reach anything. I can't even reach the bottom of the washing machine to get the clothes out.
Oh, you get in it, I crawl it. You, have you ever gotten gotten in there? Like, almost, almost. You're like, like my legs are dangling. Yeah, that's happened. Oh gosh. But, um, I love tall, tall guys, and I know, and they all like, like petite girls. Yes. And this is making me angry. Yes. Because I'm like, I have a very small pool of like men that I feel are proportionate to me.
It's gonna be hard. And they're, they're dating like, like petite little girls. I dated this one guy. He was on the golf. I, I can't really, he was on a golf team for a [00:16:00] college and he was from another country. Hmm. Okay. Canada and, um, super tall, super big. Mm-hmm. He was like. I don't know what's a character.
Yeah, but why are you getting greedy? Because like, because like, like an average guy is gonna be like, damn, you've got broad shoulders to you. Like you don't need. To be going out with the guys with like the shoulder that you need. I have big, you need him? I have big shoulders. I can't feel like, wow. Yeah, I have big shoulders and I might be able to like fight you.
Like, wait, can we talk about who you met this weekend at the, no, it's not at the festival. Nicole went to the coolest festival. I really don't know most of the artists because I still listen to, um, nineties hip hop. No, that's cool. The Ice Cube was there. Oh. In Public Enemy, which I know. Oh my gosh, [00:17:00] that was so cool.
Play For Fly was out there like, oh my gosh. Just, I just, he cracks me out. I almost bought a clock. Me and my brother, we were like, I was like, I feel very inspired and I know they're doing this because they're feeling that inspiration to get the band back together and like come out for battle. And who else was there?
Oh, ice Cube. Yeah. And um, bin, was there Green Day? Do I have no idea? Um, no clue. Cage Cage the elephant put on a show Cage the elephant. No, that's what we're talking about. Everybody knows Cage the Elephant. Nobody knows that. No. Everybody. You know that? No. So many people. Let's do a survey and Carrie, there was action and ask who knows what cage, the el, they're gonna think it's a children's book.
Well, me and my kids are gonna roll our eyes like the one in only Ivan. Me and my kids are gonna roll our eyes and be like, yeah, everyone knows that like. That's not even cool. No, he, they put, oh God. They put on a show. I've seen him like five times. So Was it like an outdoor? Yeah, it was in [00:18:00] Napa, everybody.
So it's like a three, we mentioned this a three day festival, um, with music and Napa. So it's like really good food. It's the best food. I would say that There's probably really good wine. Yeah. The fast food you're ever gonna eat. But she's not really a wine drinker. No. Well, yeah, I drink beer actually. She likes IPAs.
I know, I know. I don't really know what that means. More alcohol. I like the skunky flavor. Ew. I don't, I was, that sounds disgusting. I was raised on like, like I didn't drink Coors or Bud. We drank like, straight liquor when we were 13. Well, I mean, there was that, but like when you went to like, you know, keggers or like you had Yeah.
Oh, I loved CAG parties. Um, like IPA had I. Like just started. Oh, that's another fun thing about being short. You can do a cake stand. Oh my gosh, you probably could. Really easy. I did. But what I'm saying is like, I grew up drinking IPA. Right? So when I hadn't had, I've never heard of it until I moved here. I hadn't, I didn't drink a [00:19:00] bud or, or course.
My first time was like 30. I used to have a Budweiser, a bikini for spring break in high school. Okay. But that's weird, right? Because everybody drinks that. I mean, well, that's so like New Orleans, like you don't, um, like it's not, nothing's a gateway drug. You just start all the way at the top, like heroin.
Yeah. Or like, like cocaine. And then like you, like you just go and then marijuana comes, like, we way after that, Well, well, recently I've told all of my doctors, um, you know, that I'm taking a hiatus and that I'm not taking pain pills because I have different conditions that require that, and I'm getting to that point. But I told them I take C, B, D and THC, um. Because I don't wanna go to the pain clinic.
And then it makes you like do criminal behaviors like robbing stores and like Yeah, I get really inclined to go out and, [00:20:00] and steal and commit crimes. No, what you do is you eat and then you go to bed. Well I told my doctors I'm taking THC and CBD and they were like, you know. After all that you've been through, you do whatever the hell you want. We can do whatever you want. Yeah. That makes you feel good.
What the do? What makes you happy? Yes, because we don't know. Okay. We don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. I might fall somewhere. I might fly somewhere. I don't know. They kind of just give you like, we're sorry. Like I, we don't know. Wait. The other doctor the other day, he was like, gosh, I think I need to book another appointment.
'cause your chart is way too long. Oh my gosh. Yeah. 'cause sometimes they won't look through the chart before. Oh my God. No, they, I can't always tell when they don't. They're like flipping through and encyclopedia. They're like, I, I don't know. I've never dealt with any of these. This one guy was like, he's like, I woke up.
He's like, I started reading your chart last night. And he's like, I woke up at five just to keep reading [00:21:00] it. It was so intriguing. It's like, so good. Maybe that could be your book. No, but I would like to talk about, it would be so easy. It would be like a medical book. All I have to do is print out my chart.
I mean, doctors would probably be intrigued. I mean, you, somebody would mean you have doctors that are like, I'd like to help you be just because like, I have an idea. Oh, I'm going to, they're like, I have an idea to help you. Yeah. Some of them do say that. Like my, yeah, I've never done this before, but, well, 'cause less than half of 1% of the population in the world caught the disease has had the disease that I caught the infection.
Yeah. I tell everybody what it is because it's necrotizing fascitis. Yeah. So like, my brother's a doctor, and like I call you were like D dealing with that, like in a coma. Yeah. And I was just like in shock, right? And so I called Adrian my brother, and I'm like, yeah. So, right. She has like that flesh, like that flesh eating bacteria.
And he's like, oh. [00:22:00] And I'm like, yeah, I kind of feel that way too. Like this isn't like a normal occurrence. No. Like, what is this prognosis? And he was like, well, where did death, where did she like get it? Like, you know, it started like in, it started in your mouth. Um, he's like, that's really bad. Like, he was just like, wow, that's, and then looking at the statistics later, I was like, yeah, that's insane.
Yeah, I should, I did. I died three times. But my friend ZZ, who is a doctor, she was telling everybody, like, they were asking her, 'cause I let her see my chart, I gave permission. And she's like, it's really bad. Like it's it, she's not gonna make it. Oh, wow. Because there was a point that I had complete organ failure.
Yeah. You were like, I, and like, and they were going to tell my family that it was time to bring the big kids to tell me goodbye and so fast. [00:23:00] It was like you were at work. I. It was a Friday and then you went home, and then, and then I, like, I didn't get to like talk to you for month and Jack had, um, a state football game and I didn't wanna miss it.
Yeah, you, you, you do crazy things, Krisa, because when you, when you, and that is how I ended up in that situation. Yeah. Not taking care of yourself. You have to take care of yourself. I never have in my entire life, I still kind of don't, but you can't let it get No to a point because there's stuff that's bad.
Yeah, I like that. And then, um, but I did have three times that I died and they resuscitated me and I went to what I think is heaven. It sounded nice. Yeah. And Nicole, um, she doesn't believe in that. I don't know. No, you can't say that you believe in multidimensional. I what? No, like you're just, you now you're just like [00:24:00] pigeonholing me.
Like I know, I know. Well, you're from California. I know you believe in prisms and like, like rocks, amess rocks. Yes. I have them in my pocket. So tell me, really, like, do you have a faith? I was raised by a scientist and yeah. Yeah. That's hard. So like, tell us about your dad real quick. He's just like an interesting guy.
Genius. He is in ssa. He he was invited there. Yeah. He didn't, he didn't accept, he's kind of like a hippie. He was like the version of a hippie before they had hippies. No, he was a hippie in the sixties. Like Oh. And obviously lived in San Francisco. Well, he went to uc, Berkeley. Oh yeah. He really bright, like got a PhD and.
Molecular Cellular bio or no? I think that's my, my brother. I thought it was like biochemistry. No, it's my brother, I think. Oh, I was confused. The two, they're all smart and good looking. FYI, I don't know. I feel like I'm like the prettiest one. The, the, the re reject. They're like, oh, she's [00:25:00] just, you know, the Danny DeVito of the twins.
She's just like, has a store and does nothing. She's not really smart, like a professional. You don't have a like initials behind your name. I don't know. I don't think they're like that. Maybe. Maybe I should have done something more. I don't, who knows? I don't care anymore. Oh my gosh. I was thinking about that today.
I was like, oh my gosh, I'd love to study. I don't remember what it is, and I just thought about it today. Wouldn't it be awesome to like go back to like college and just study? I would love that. And just study. What are you talking about? Yeah. Not have like any other like work or like kids. Oh yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I love that. But then I thought, oh my gosh. A clock went off in my head like a timer. I'm like, I'm too old. No you're not. And I have these kids. Oh, the kids are gonna like, yeah. Yeah. The world kind of reopens after. Yeah. The kids get older. Well, yeah. And that's another episode that we'll be talking about is empty nesters.
I actually just got a message [00:26:00] from one of my girlfriends in New Orleans who said, um, she's, her last son is out, who is Jack's age, who is my son. And she's like, her husband works out of town and she's completely alone and her whole life has been her kids. Yeah. It's a weird thing. Mm-hmm. I, I've kind of started, I mean, my son's like.
He's gonna be 19 this summer. Yeah. And you know, you just don't see them like they work Audrey, once they get their license, oh, Audrey, that's it. They're gone. And Audrey just works and is with her friends as well. Yeah. Like my kids just go to work, go to school, do their thing, and like you mi you miss that.
Like, I used to have like carpool time when Jack went to Gibbons and that we would talk. Right. And he would tell me about music. He's listening to play stuff for me. That's why you have to make that effort to like, so I'll go out to dinner with my kids and like make sure to, I try to spend time with my kids, but I can't even like hold them down except for the little girls.
Yeah. Your house is kind of like a [00:27:00] carnival. It is. Or a zoo. Yes. Both depending on the day. Yes. You just have a lot going on. Yes. But that's what it's like when you have kids. But I really wanted it to be like that because I was an only child and it was so nice. No. I have normal What? Yes. I like it. I don't like silence.
You're like, I, I want to just have to raise children forever. Well, I kind of am like that. Um, but I'm not anymore. But that, no. See, see, yeah. Yeah. You're kind of like, I'm good. That feeling of like, looking at them like grown. Um, I, I had the thought recent recently when I was looking at Sean, my son. I'm like, I, I hope like I did something good here.
Like Right. It happened so fast. You're like, wait a minute. Right. Did I do a good job? And I'm like, I hope. And I think like, as I was thinking on it, I'm like, I think like the most important thing as a parent is like you just being a good person. Mm-hmm. And [00:28:00] modeling that, like what you should do. Right. You know, like you should be nice to the waiters.
Right, right, right. Um, you should tip, you should just. Be respectful. Don't you know, that was the most important thing to me. I took it really seriously when I found out I was having a boy. 'cause I had all girl cousins. Um, yeah. My dad wasn't around having a jack Yeah. Was a big deal. And so, yeah. I wanted to make sure that I raised a boy that turned into a man.
That's gonna be good. Wasn't I know it's a huge responsibility. Oh my gosh. I know. Like I would, oh, I would have this like dread. 'cause I'd be like food shopping usually. And some your mind wanders. And I'm like, you know, I can be like a lot of things for Sean, but I can't be like his dad. Right. That's so hard for me.
And then I'm going like, ugh. He needs like, more interaction with his dad and like, um, I feel like it's so bad for them because, but you really did, you were like really [00:29:00] on that, like on him treating women respectfully. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and, you know, just showing up, opening the door for someone being, not making a walk in the street, being behind it to your servers.
Yeah. Every kid should work in a restaurant because they Or my store. Or her store. You'll learn a walk from working in her store. You will, you will. A lot of dread. No, I mean, some days it's like, oh wow, we got a lot of consignment today. And it's like a wait what day? Yeah, yeah. There was one like that right before I left for Napa.
Like, it was like the day before I left and I, I had so much consignment and I was like, I'm gonna have to like close shop, go do what I need to do and then come back and finish. I finished at like 1130 and then I flew up. We used to stay at the store until like midnight. No. Oh, that was fun. That was pre tooth.[00:30:00]
Yeah. But the thing I love about Nicole is she's not what she appears to be, dude. I mean, in the best way possible. I know, but like, Hmm. You're kinder and sweeter. You're kind and sweet and nice and beautiful and smart. But when you get to know you, your inner core is like, you're like, wow. Really? Yeah.
That's weird. And so Nicole has been my biggest support system since I've been sick. Really? Well, yeah. I'm not gonna like, and then before that too, I know Nicole told me she promises me that she won't let me go to a, um, retirement home. Yeah, please. No, I will. I'll make sure. Yeah. Because you know, my kids might totally abandon me.
You never know. That's why I was saying, I was like, looking at Sean, I'm like, I hope like. He learn something like stay in touch, right? Like [00:31:00] we're family. Yeah. Can you gimme a Mother's Day present or just like text? He did text me. Oh yeah. That's nice. I mean, yeah, but it's something he went up. You can't expect anything from these kids today.
Nothing. Well, I went out to my daughter, she's like more sensitive. We went out and had brunch. Um, she's, yeah, my daughter's super sensitive too. She's just a little bit more aware, I guess. Maybe a lot of, and mature. A lot of guys are just like, they're dumb. They're unaware. Okay. Like really, like they're slow.
Okay. Or they're still maturing. Sorry, Joe. They're still maturing into their like thirties. Yeah. Maybe longer, or they never do. They're just in arrested development for sure. We have so many guys like that in New Orleans. It's like the Pickens are small because they either have like mommy issues. Mm. Um, or they're alcoholic and drug addicts, or they've committed fraud.
Yeah. [00:32:00] Right. And, and then they're also, um, yeah. You don't want that dating pool. No. So I'm not dating currently, but, well, I'm married. Um, but if I was to, I wouldn't, I wouldn't date. I'm not interested. No. I've kind of given up hope. Well, I don't think that, but No, but in the, like, in the best way possible, I was just like, you know, like this is kind of, um, not worth my energy like.
I'd rather do something else. Oh my gosh. One night she was coming home from a date and they had dinner in Chapel Hill. It was the steakhouse guy. Oh my God. He, he loved to bring her to steakhouse. No, it was like three steakhouse in a row. And I was like, I don't think you and I are gonna like, like mesh. No, like, and like, oh, and then it was on the last date, he was like, how do you feel about cruises?
And I'm like, I was like, I started kind of like, not, I jump [00:33:00] off of the boat, dude, not being able to breathe. I was like, oh, no. I like to do adventures when I travel. I don't wanna be stuck on a boat. He's like, you can scuba dive off the cruise, isn't it? Oh gosh. I'm like, no, he's a, because like, it's not the same in the people and like the Yeah.
And the buffet it, I can't handle it. No, no. So no offense to cruisers because I know there's a lot of cruisers that's cruise. No, it's just not my thing because it's not my thing. I like to go do stuff. And like, not be confined. Yeah. Like I go places to do stuff. Right. So wait, she doesn't wanna go to like the karaoke on the cruise?
No, no. I don't wanna spend my money like that. No. So yeah, so this guy, so that was the last kid. Oh my gosh. He was, he was a great guy, like super nice, but she had, she had to drive back to Chap from Chapel Hill with him in the car. I know. Which is like 30 minutes. And I'm so awkward and weird and like, introverted and when like, like [00:34:00] situations get awkward, I'm just like, ugh.
I don't know how to act. She act, she just like sits there and shuts off. Um, or I say like weird things. Well, so I just can't imagine being, I've been in that situation when you don't like someone and you're in a car with them and you cannot wait to get out. No, it wasn't. And run inside. I mean, it wasn't that bad, but like, I just knew, I was like, why am I trying to make this work?
I knew on the first date. Right. And then I was like, well, keep an open mind. Keep an open mind. I'm like, that's where, where we go wrong. And I read something like it's, I'm just so like, like I, no, it makes us oblivious to their BS and their narcissism and whatever. Like, I can't do, like, I'm just happy or traveling by myself Yeah.
And doing cool shit. Right. Like, and then working myself. Let's talk about Bali. Yeah. It was awesome. Okay. That's not what I mean. Oh. Can you like, expand on that? Because a lot of people that's like their [00:35:00] dream trip. Yeah. So tell us about your friend. Um, so like, I just, I don't know, like No, let's talk about your friend first.
So I have a friend that moved there and I noticed she was like posting stuff about, so her friend, let me just say this. Okay. Her friend was a travel nurse and she has no children, no husband. Anyway, the girl like got rid of ev she sold everything she had. Right. She like put it in storage. Well, first she got an injury at work. She got kicked in her neck and it broke. She's a travel nurse, so she can't work anymore.
So she was kinda, I get the feeling she was kind of lost and then like got drawn to Bali. A lot of people go there to heal. Right. There's a lot of kind of like, um, different. Like, I don't know, kind of, what are they called? Like, I don't know. Not practitioners, but like healers, I guess. They're healers. I mean, they have, they're credentialed and stuff.
- my sessions were [00:36:00] very, let me turn this off, like expansive. How can I put this in words? Like, um, it, I, I, I've just like, it was healing. Yeah. Well, and he was using, he was using modalities that are used in therapy.
What does that mean? Um, my mom's a therapist too, and I have no idea. Like EMDR. Oh yeah. I really wanna do that. Or brain spotting. Brain spotting. But actually I don't wanna do that. No. So like, I did the brain spotting. What does that do? It's the newest thing that's come out. Of course. It's the newest thing.
Um, and Nicole's going to do it. Well, once I read, he did it and I looked at his following and like what they were saying, I'm like, I wanna really do this. Okay. So what is that, brainspotting? It's like, it's so weird. You put headphones on and there's different music playing in each headphone. No, but you're not really aware of it.
Right. It's very like, quiet. Right. And then he takes, he took it all point, like a pointer. Mm-hmm. With a black tip. [00:37:00] Mm-hmm. And you focus on it. Like sometimes he'd move it to like, get me to, oh my God, that feels like torture. Where I would like, he'd be like, when you start feeling it in your body. 'cause we were going back, so this is for trauma.
Yeah. We, we were going back to memories and he's like, tell me when you feel it. And he was moving and I'm like, I feel it. And then it was almost like I felt like hypnosis. Like I've never been hypnotized. No, me either. But I think that might be kind of like where it was going because it's like you're so focused and in like your memory.
Ugh. But like, it's okay. That sounds terrible. No, but it's okay. And he's talking to you. But it's like positive memories are bad memories. Both, um, mostly like your trauma. 'cause that's what we wanna get rid of. So I thought she was gonna come home with like, some trauma remedies and like, enlighten me. What, like if she comes home with this with an elixir, like no, I thought she was gonna like, meditate with me or something.
Here's a punctu, you're just putting on [00:38:00] your tongue. I would go for that. Oh, I wish I could just, yeah, that. But like I've, I got a lot of like, um, insight. I think just on, well you never shared it. It's, it's hard. Very deeply personal. Well, it's hard to explain because it's like, I, I, I experienced something like a feeling if, imagine like in your youth when you were young, like really young and that feeling of innocence.
And you can, I, when I taught, I could see that in kids and, and like you had this sort of just like unconditional love, like in, in life, right? Well, I like, like this is why I felt like, like how does this happen as a kid? You don't have malice usually. I mean, if you're, no, I was such a great sweet, you're innocent, good kid, and you love everybody and like you don't have this, like yeah.
You're not like, you don't have the, you're not bruised by life yet. Right, right. Um, and feeling that feeling was just like really nice and, um, like, and stress free. And that [00:39:00] was very like, spiritual and like, um, I don't know, enlightening. It, it made me feel like, okay, like safe, like I have that in me to, to go there.
That's so nice. And then I realized like I think that I can live more in that state of being if I follow a different, if I live in alignment with who I am. Right. I'm trying to get there. You know what I mean? I need to get out of fight or flight. Like, you know, when you do wrong, you know, when you hurt somebody, it's like.
I don't know. Just doing right, like going back. Right. Just not doing that. Yeah. Or apologizing. Just being a better person. I apologize for everything because Yeah, I feel better. Like, I don't know. It's hard. Like I said, it's hard to describe. No, I over apologized because, um, I'm people pleasing because of my, my childhood.
So yeah, I feel like I kind of went up a level and like heal. It was weird. Like you went, like, you became, um, like a transcending, like some of this bullshit. So did you have any like, [00:40:00] spiritual experiences? Like did you vision anything? No, but I mean, isn't that spiritual? Like, I'm like, no, it's totally amazing.
I kind of looked at like all this and even Edwin, the, the guy, the healer, he was like, yeah. So at the end of it, he's like, you've, you've um, you're far in your growth. Like, he was telling me kinda like, you're kind of like, you're, and I realized that too when I was doing therapy with him. 'cause we went back and I had already forgiven Glen.
Oh. It was weird. You didn't tell me that. Going to her ex-husband. I didn't know I had, and then, um, he asked me to like, engage with that feeling and I'm like, I just feel, um, like, like sadness in a way because I see somebody hurting. Yeah. So that turned to empathy. That hate turned to empathy. So it's, it's like, that was nice.
I, because it's like releases that stress of hating somebody. Yes. You're kind of like going up a level. Right, right. Um, yeah. So it's [00:41:00] like how do, so what did he do with the pointer? How do you live like that all the time? It's like, just like a practice, I guess. But, um, yeah, I guess you just have to start in the morning and like, well he did do, um, this like mind body movement thing.
It's, and I'm gonna say it wrong. It's she, she, she gone, she gone. Wait, it's spelled like Q Edwin. She gone, I don't know. There's like a, like a Q in an I in there, which is wrong. And you say totally different. Don't Google this. It's like Qigong, no chi. No, it's totally like known What? And like it's Qigong, you know, like the, like Ong.
How, how maybe 'cause I grew up in the Bay Area. Like did you ever see the like older, like Asian people doing like Tai chi and stuff? No. Okay. I saw older Asian people. That was normal in sf. But anyway, getting drunken smoking crack in New Orleans. Yeah. See everyone, not just Asian people. [00:42:00] Um, so it's like that slow movement.
Yeah. I love that. And so the whole idea is you're, you're generating energy and, um, you can feel it if you're like focused Yeah. And in your body. And then I don't remember how that feels. It's warm and tingly. I don't know. But like, so we, we did this practice and so like, um, you expand it, you move it. And then there's just like movement, kind of like yoga, like how you'll do Yeah, it's flows.
Is that like when the karate kid, when he went out on the ocean and he was like, and he was standing on that wood plank. Yeah. We didn't do the crane, but like we did some other movements. That's the closest thing that I can think of because I'm not Nicole and I don't go to Bali. I'm wiping up PPP and everything else.
So anyway, I'm supposed to be practicing that, but that's okay. That daily I haven't been. That's so good. Well I got [00:43:00] invited to go to Nepal instead and like be with the monks. I'm obsessed with monks. It looked kind of cool because I was looking at their last show. Have you ever listened to them? Yeah, it's amazing.
And I was looking at the video of of it and I'm like, wow, that's like a really cool place. I like going like, yeah. Interesting places. And it feels like I can absorb like some you, you've their culture. Yeah. Right. Or like the vi like just who they are. Right. Right. Embody some of it. I love it. Like I, I got, you know, and it ah, I know.
And it kind of like gives you like a bigger expands, like your ideas, who you are, your ideas of people Yeah. And what's right, what's wrong. Yeah. How to live. It makes you worldly. So, um, yeah. I don't raise eyebrows when I go to weird countries. Okay. That's all I'm saying. Well, I'm just pissed that you get to go to these places and that I'm here slaving away with bath time and tangles.
I'm finding myself. I'm actually not aggravated about that. I'm really [00:44:00] happy for her and I love my little baby girls. Um, but it's just like so annoying that she has all this time to herself. I know. And she can go wherever she wants and it doesn't matter. And sometimes I won't find out like she's just gone.
No, I'll tell you. But you don't remember. Oh. Or you'll be like, oh, that's way in the future. I'm like, no, it's next week. Oh yeah, I do do that because I'll plan it. I'll be like, oh, I'm going to, it's May, whatever. I'm gonna go to Bali like in two weeks. People are like, what? Like, wait, were you, weren't you like trying that trip's?
Like something you should invest time, like planning. And I'm like, no. How old were you there for? I don't know, like 13 days. And we did like some of the islands off of Bali. That was awesome. I'd go back and do the islands for sure. That's amazing. There's so many little ones. I just wanna go to the south of France and Italy.
I'll be good. We could do that. Yeah.
Love Nicole. She's my best friend here. Well, one of 'em. Yeah. No, I think you're my best friend. Yeah. And like you've shown up for me when [00:45:00] like I've needed help.
Okay. Well she's shown up more for me because I'm not as available and I was in a really bad place for the last. Four years. Yeah. I mean, you, like everybody, like a good friend does what they can do. Right, right, right. And like, you know that. And she knew I would do anything for her. And you do. Yeah. You like, you like water My plants when I'm gone.
I know. I love it. They would die. I like go and stand in her house. It's super quiet and clean. Oh my gosh. It's so quiet in there. Oh, and I never wanna leave every time. What? And then my phone rings. Which, and which. Which of your daughters is was over and was like, oh, Carson. Carson. She was like, can I live here?
She's like, everything's so nice and clean. Can can we just, and quiet. Can we just stay? Yeah. She was serious. And then she called, she made me call her the other night and asked if she could sleep over. Yeah. I'm like, you wanna, you sleep with me every night? It was kind of weird. I was like, what, what? What?
Like, am I adopting a child now? Kinda like how you push [00:46:00] cats on me. Oh, Lotus is waiting for you? No, I'm actually getting the real Lotus. Oh you are? Yeah. So you can't try to, I'll tell that story next time. You can't try to push cats on me anymore. Audrey one, she's, I'm gonna bring a bunch of kittens on the show.
I'm gonna become the old, like crazy cat lady. I already am like, people have been offering me cats for years now, and I'm like, I don't need a cat. And now I'm like, maybe I need a cat. Well, so maybe I need something like that's warm that I can touch. 'cause I'm not gonna have a boyfriend. Ugh. Sure. And they're third sweet.
Yeah. So what I'm wanted to bring up is that you, all of those points are right. Okay. Well, um, but I wanted to bring up that it's really hard when you move to a new place where you don't know a soul, especially when you're from New Orleans, that everyone knows everyone. You can't go anywhere without running into someone.
And here, when I moved [00:47:00] here, it took me two years to run into somebody that I knew at the grocery store. It was depressing and I'm super social and it was really hard. But the fact that it took us seven, like four years to get close because I don't talk. Well, no she doesn't. You have to literally pull it out of her just like the Bali trip because y'all won't know anything about that.
It was great. She keeps it all to herself. It's awesome. I did some night diving and saw an octopus. Oh, you never told me that. No. So and I saw a turtle and like we had like this moment. A spiritual experience. Yeah, it was at night and we were just, I'm sorry, I can't, like, it just swam up to me.
Everyone's like, oh turtle. And I was like looking at the coral and like all the spores coming off of it and it was bioluminescence. That's so bioluminescence everyone. I'm like, that's so if you can do this ever in your life, you scuba dive. Because like it's, it's awesome. I'm not gonna [00:48:00] ever be able to do that.
Anyway, I'm looking at the bioluminescence and everyone's like, oh, look it, I'm like, yeah, it's cool bio. I, I love the idea of scuba diving, but there was a turtle and it was staring like right at me and then it swam like to me, maybe it was somebody, you know, no. And then we like stared at each other in our eyes or knew Where does is that It might be your, one of your ex-boyfriends that passed away that's coming to tell you goodbye.
I did see an article that said my brother sent this to me. Um, octopuses could potentially, is that the word for oc? No, octopi is, it's either octopi or octopuses. You could choose. I like octopus. I did chew octopi. Kind of feels like I used it for a while and I'm like, is this even a thing? Anyway? Um, because what, they're so smart.
Turtles? No octopuses. Oh, like, like they, oh, there's a whole thing. There's a whole show about them on Netflix. I just got an article that they could like, take [00:49:00] over the world. There's only gonna be octopuses, roaches and narcissistic men left on planet. You know what I said to him? I said, I, I kind of am hoping for this because you wanna see your friend again?
No, I just would rather have octopus as controlling the world than like evil people. Well, true. Right? That would be nice to live in. Or robots. Animal controlled world robots. Should we be scared of robots now? Yes. I'm feeling like can't deal with the AI thing. I'm not really cool with that. But, but you're cool to get the chip in your head, right?
Oh yeah. I'm so in for that. What's happening? I'm totally about to homestead. But it's really hard. And Carrie, and so that's why I'm so happy for Nicole and I,
and a few other relationships that I have that are genuine because when you get to be old, you don't have time to hang out and like get drunk and like talk all night and have slumber parties.
No, I was just talking about this with one of my other friends and how she had to kind of like purge her friends, the people, the people that were around her. Right. [00:50:00] Because it's just like you, you know, it's kind of like why I stopped dating. It's like it takes a lot of work. It's draining me. Yeah. And I'm not getting a lot.
No. So, you know, and once you kind of release those kind of relationships, it, it, it's very, it makes you feel better. Yeah. Like, and then you'll have more energy for the good ones. Yeah. And yourself. , I'm gonna tell you an amazingly juicy story when I come back for our next episode. Yeah. I can't even believe you're doing that. That's insane. I have to, I have to share it because it's just outrageous and it just goes to show how crazy life my life is and your life.
. I can't wait. I can't believe I'm talking about it. I, I, yeah. Good for you. Yeah. I have no shame in my game. I, I, I'm gonna co-sign on this. Okay. And I think I'm gonna like It's liberating you. Yeah. And like, what do you have to lose? And everybody, a lot of people know.
Yeah. So who cares? Right. So anyway, thank you so much for joining us in this episode [00:51:00] of Wait, what?